Shadows of saguaro wrens

The things you write that can’t tell you what you think

I had forgotten my dad lived in Arizona when he was younger until my aunt texted to wish me a happy birthday. I happened to be in Tucson for work or she wouldn’t have reminded me of this detail and it may have been lost forever.

My aunt’s birthday text reminding me she and my dad had lived near Tucson when they were young.

Dad died in July of 2012, a couple of months before I celebrated my wedding in Savannah with all our family. There is much that was hard about my relationship with my dad, including the fact that he couldn’t wait a couple more months until after my wedding to die. Geez. (Mark and I had been officially married at the Stratford, Ontario courthouse the year before, so Dad did actually get to see me married, at least.)

But also, that the details of his life are gone unless I remember them. So that’s what this post is, a part of my writing practice to help me remember those details.

There were joyful times with Dad, even in the hard parts, especially at the end. The end began with the summer I moved back from England. I was between work and had planned for time off, and he was always off work living on his veterans checks, so I spent a month with…